My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize