Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize