Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
