the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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