the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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