I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize