Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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