If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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