found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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