If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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