we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
a search helicopter?!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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