Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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