he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You're like the curious george of whores
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My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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