jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We don't watch enough power rangers
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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