you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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