No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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