Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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