one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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