I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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