We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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