Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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