Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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