Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize