I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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