just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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