Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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