I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize