so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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