Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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