he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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