the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
