afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
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Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize