3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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