So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize