Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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