plz talk dirty to me
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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