All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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