Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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