Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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