I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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