she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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