i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
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Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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