i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize