Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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