that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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