This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize