I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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