My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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