Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Tennessee (423)

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  I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.

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  (423): I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud. http://tfl.nu/10lu
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  Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility

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  (423): Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility http://tfl.nu/hzzw
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  I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.

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  (423): I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex. http://tfl.nu/g9ms
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  I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees

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  (423): I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees http://tfl.nu/90bg
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  Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.

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  (423): Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows. http://tfl.nu/mbnt
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  It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.

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  (423): It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin. http://tfl.nu/eslz
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  He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."

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  (423): He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.." http://tfl.nu/dapq
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  Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...

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  (423): Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight... http://tfl.nu/fo5y
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  take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.

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  (423): take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/qdcc
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  All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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  (423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0
  Replies (8) Good night (2837) Bad night (759)
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  Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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  (423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt
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  I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake

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  (423): I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake http://tfl.nu/x2me
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  Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick

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  (423): Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick http://tfl.nu/qnn8
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  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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  (423): She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk." http://tfl.nu/peq8
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  Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.

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  (423): Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach. http://tfl.nu/tnd1
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