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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
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