Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (970)

Last Night in Colorado (970)

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I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std

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(970): I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std http://tfl.nu/52gl

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I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.

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(970): I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life. http://tfl.nu/eqcg

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I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."

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(970): I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend." http://tfl.nu/7i0l

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He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."

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(970): He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park." http://tfl.nu/6eh6

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They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(

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(970): They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:( http://tfl.nu/8u7z

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Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

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(970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z

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This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian

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(970): This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian http://tfl.nu/y4qc

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Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms

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(970): Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms http://tfl.nu/zzyw

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Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

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(970): Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced. http://tfl.nu/7rns

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I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

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(970): I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out http://tfl.nu/cs49

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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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(970): Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! http://tfl.nu/2nfr

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I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.

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(970): I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation. http://tfl.nu/iw3q

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Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis

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(970): Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis http://tfl.nu/gujt

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Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina

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(970): Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina http://tfl.nu/uvty

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I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me

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Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere

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(970): I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me (970): Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere http://tfl.nu/25bl

Replies (12) Good night (2413) Bad night (370)

Last Night in Colorado (970)

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